What It Takes
by Azurite
Summary: He couldn't remember her-- didn't WANT to remember her. She was about to give up, but she knew that love didn't simply end that way...


What It Takes  
  
A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction  
  
By Azurite [azurite_moon@yahoo.com]  
  
azurite.incandesce.org  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Why hello! Welcome to my FIRST ever HYD fanfic. I hope it's to your   
  
liking... I've found a few gems scattered here and there in the HYD  
  
world, and, like any obsessive, drooling fan, here I am adding my   
  
own mental mayhem to the mess. ^_^   
  
I must thank Lelu and Jen Wand, because I idolize them enough as it  
  
is, but finding out they wrote FANTASTIC HYD fics just made my... well,  
  
year. =D Yes ladies, you have yet another fangirl. ^_^ *waves banner*   
  
Thanks!  
  
Spoilerwise... ah, come on, who hasn't read up to 33!? ^^; *smirk* I'm  
  
getting my translations here and there, but it looks like Viz will be a  
  
long time coming when it comes to the actual manga. Guess I'll be   
  
buying the original...   
  
Lastly, I have *3* count 'em, *3* more HYD fics up my sleeves.   
  
(Actually, I'm wearing a tanktop now, so... o_O) You'll see them  
  
even-shua-lee. Tee hee.   
  
Ugh, finding one continual source of translations is difficult. Isn't  
  
there one site that has 1-present textlations of the manga? I'm  
  
getting lost... o_O  
  
Finally:  
  
'Thoughts'  
  
"Speech"  
  
*emphasis* and MORE EMPHASIS  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Sensations.  
  
Heat.  
  
Cold.  
  
A strange tingling.  
  
And then... a bright light.  
  
Accompanied by the most indescribable pain...  
  
What, I ask you, is the most precious thing in this world?  
  
Is it experience-- the knowledge of having gone through something,  
  
of having done something and survived whatever obstacles had been  
  
placed in your path? Is it the familiarity of undertaking a project  
  
or a process, that strange thought inside you that tells says, "You  
  
can do this, you will not fail!"  
  
Or maybe... maybe it's the memories? For what are experiences without  
  
your memories of having done them, having accomplished or failed  
  
something? Memories are what we hold most dear to our heart, are they  
  
not? When lost... there is a feeling of emptiness inside, unlike   
  
anything else. Memories lost are hard -perhaps even impossible?- to  
  
regain.  
  
Both these things are immaterial. Experiences and memories can not   
  
be bought at a store, ordered in a catalog, or shipped overseas.  
  
Each person's experiences or memories differ from someone else's.  
  
Experiences and memories... they are like the wind, like the air.  
  
Always present, though they cannot be seen or captured-- only felt.  
  
But maybe... just maybe, these things aren't what is most important,  
  
the most precious, in this world. I believe it's something just as  
  
intangible as these though, just as surrounding as the air, with  
  
the same power and force as the wind, but still... unable to be  
  
captured or held in the palm of your hand.  
  
Maybe then... what is most important in this world... is love?  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Makino!" Voices chorused all at once, hardly in harmony, ringing,   
  
ringing... the name was familiar to her, hazy though, and she was  
  
unable to place it as she slipped to the floor.  
  
The floor? No, cool, wet grass.   
  
These sensations were fleeting, slipping... running away from her...  
  
and then there was darkness, and Tsukushi Makino allowed herself  
  
to be drawn in.  
  
Rui was the first one to reach Tsukushi's crumpled form, lifting her  
  
as gently as he possibly could-- one had to be careful in these  
  
kinds of situations, when people were... when people had gotten...  
  
"I-I didn't mean to-- not her! Not her!" An angry voice stuttered,  
  
almost whispering incoherently. The dirty-faced man shot an angry  
  
glare at Tsukasa Domoyouji, standing stock still between the man,  
  
who was restrained between two of his friends, Akira Mimasaka and  
  
Soujirou Nishikado, and his fallen girlfriend.  
  
'Yes... my... my...'   
  
Thoughts were all a jumble inside Tsukasa's head, images, sounds,   
  
and sensations all whirling through his mind at a blinding speed.  
  
Most were hard to grasp, impossible to understand or realize...  
  
but he knew one thing above all-- the girl now lying bloodied  
  
in Rui's arms...   
  
'She is the most important person to me...'   
  
***********************************************************************  
  
The scenery now was vastly different from what it had been an hour ago.  
  
Two hours ago, even.  
  
Before, the F4 and others --Sakurako and Shigure, namely-- had been  
  
gathered in the Domoyouji mansion gardens, having a sort of party  
  
to celebrate Tsukasa's decision to return to Eitoku Academy.  
  
Tsukushi Makino had no idea that such a party had been going on  
  
when she arrived at the Domoyouji mansion-- but she was quickly  
  
ushered in by the maids and shown to the gardens.  
  
Sakurako and Shigure looked positively thrilled that she had  
  
joined them-- something which startled Tsukushi even more. She  
  
had only returned to the Domoyouji mansion because she intended  
  
to return what 'rightfully belonged to him.'   
  
At least, that's what she thought in her mind.  
  
She'd gathered up Tsukasa's stuffed rabbit, the baseball, and what  
  
had once been her own most precious possession -her Saturn necklace-  
  
and put it all in a plain paper bag.   
  
She would give them back to him. He could do with the items what he  
  
willed, and Tsukushi resolved that she would get over her heartbreak,  
  
and move on.  
  
'From the beginning, I've said "I'm a weed! No matter how many times  
  
you try to get rid of me, I'll always be back! I'm strong!" And...  
  
and I am. I will be.'   
  
After a week or more of Tsukasa's denial that he even *knew* her,  
  
Tsukushi knew her heart couldn't take it anymore. She'd wanted to  
  
tell him-- more than anything, more than life-- how much she loved  
  
him, how much she needed him, but...  
  
'Our own immaturity got in the way, and now... now he's free of me.  
  
Free of all the annoyances, hassles, and burdens I brought to his  
  
life.'  
  
In the midst of this thought, Tsukushi could recall Tsukasa -the   
  
Tsukasa from *before*- telling her that she wasn't a burden,  
  
not a hassle at all-- he *loved* her, didn't she know that by now?  
  
But the memory only brought more pain.   
  
He didn't remember her now, didn't even seem to care for her or  
  
have a slight interest in her. It wasn't as if they could start over...  
  
"Maybe if you show him these things, he'll remember you!"   
  
'Yuuki.'   
  
The girl had been trying to cheer Tsukushi up, only moments before  
  
she left the dango shop to head to the Domoyouji mansion. Both of them  
  
knew her efforts were futile-- if no matter of arguing, re-enactments,  
  
or pestering from the F3 and friends would snap Domoyouji out of his   
  
amnesia, then a few trinkets would hardly do the trick.  
  
She'd wanted to believe in him -'believe in *us*'- until the last   
  
moment, but...   
  
And so she'd gone to return the trinkets to him. Maybe a sliver of hope  
  
buried deep within her hoped that of the bunch, maybe something would  
  
jar his memory.  
  
But instead, Tsukasa Domoyouji didn't seem to recognize the   
  
significance of any of them items-- at least, not between the two  
  
of them. Rather, he saw the stuffed rabbit doll as what had once been  
  
a treasured item of his... while everything else was 'odd junk.'   
  
Heartbreak... again.  
  
In anger, frustration, and acute loneliness, Tsukushi had stormed out  
  
of the mansion, hurling the baseball at Tsukasa as she went. She  
  
didn't even see the baseball clunk him on the end and send him   
  
sprawling into a bush.  
  
Tsukushi Makino didn't care who saw her-- didn't care what they said  
  
about her, or what they thought about her. She'd spent so long  
  
trying to be strong, trying to do her best, trying to react well  
  
under all the pressure... from every corner of her life...  
  
She'd paid no mind when darkness fell, and she stumbled through  
  
bushes in the darkened park. She'd found the bench, across from  
  
the lake where she'd cried out so many of her fears, worries,  
  
and hopes.  
  
She'd cried out that she loved Tsukasa more than anything, and it  
  
hurt to see him tell her, with such cold and unfeeling eyes that  
  
he never wanted to see her again.  
  
Vision blurred by salty, stinging tears, she was unaware when   
  
shadows stole past her-- only barely registering as Rui's voice  
  
called out to her-- "Makino!"   
  
Everything she felt was fractured, broken... once-complex feelings  
  
now broken sensations, lasting only for a split second...  
  
And then, looking up behind a veil of tears, she saw him-- the  
  
expression on his face unlike anything she'd seen recently...  
  
And she got up, stumbling on wobbling legs, towards Tsukasa,   
  
time seeming to freeze as she moved towards him--  
  
Movement.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, a shadow, a form, a figure.  
  
Light, glinting off a metallic surface.   
  
Suddenly, time caught up to everyone at once, and it wasn't  
  
a shadow anymore, it was a person-- the rough, worn face of  
  
the man that had stabbed Tsukasa before.  
  
He hadn't been caught, and now, he'd found Tsukasa again,   
  
and this time, Tsukasa wouldn't live.  
  
It didn't matter that Tsukasa himself had nothing to do  
  
with the man's company going bankrupt. It didn't matter  
  
that Tsukasa had no memory of Tsukushi, the one person  
  
who could be captured, forcing Tsukasa to do whatever  
  
someone wished. No one saw that anymore, no one  
  
realized...  
  
Until Tsukushi twisted, just before she was in Tsukasa's  
  
arms, throwing herself in the line of fire.  
  
More accurately, in the path of the glinting blade.  
  
Sharp metal met tender flesh, tore open a small part  
  
of Tsukushi's blouse... and white turned to crimson.  
  
Dry became wet, and the life and light in Tsukushi  
  
Makino's eyes faded.  
  
Now, she was in the OR at the nearest hospital. Rui  
  
was speaking to a doctor, while Tsukasa sat in a   
  
chair in the waiting area, head in his hands.  
  
Too much...  
  
Too much had happened, too much confusion. It was  
  
hard to understand.   
  
There was still a red swelling on his head where   
  
the baseball had hit him... it stung a little, but  
  
Tsukasa didn't pay any attention to the pain.  
  
Blurs, swirls, masses of memory came back to him--  
  
all at once.   
  
It wasn't Umi who he'd forgotten at all.  
  
It was her.  
  
She'd been there for him since the beginning,  
  
something in her eyes telling him that she was  
  
something more-- more than how the F4 were 'friends,'  
  
more than how Umi was a 'companion,' more than  
  
anything else, more than *anyone* else...  
  
But now...  
  
He glanced up at the glowing red 'Operation in Progress'  
  
light.  
  
It had been on for the past hour, and hadn't so much as flickered  
  
yet.  
  
Tsukushi Makino's life was on the line, and it was all. His. Fault.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
I so detested the original version of this... so I revised it, as per  
  
the first part *points up* that I came up with last night. Obviously,   
  
this lends to becoming a nulti-part fic... _; Oh dear, what am I   
  
getting myself into?  
  
Well, I hope you enjoyed. Do tell me what you think. =) 


End file.
